


Comfort

by icantbestill29



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Needy Rachel, propunk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 23:57:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11391075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icantbestill29/pseuds/icantbestill29
Summary: Rachel needs reassurance. Set in the same universe as Unexpected. One shot.





	Comfort

"Rachel," Sarah's hand was light on her shoulder. "She's gonna be fine. She is fine. Come back to bed."

In the glow of the soft night light of the room, Rachel turned to face the other woman, her features slack. Sarah's heart thudded wildly in her chest as their eyes connected. Had Rachel been crying?

"Rach--"

The blond put a finger to her lips as Kira stirred. They stood in the door frame silently for a few moments, watching the little girl's chest rise up and down in a comforting, steady rhythm. 

Sarah knew what Rachel was zoning in on, her breath tensing as she stared at the bandage on Kira's right wrist, the bandage on her chin where stitches has been sewn. Her stomach twisted a bit remembering the call earlier in the day that she'd had an accident at school and to meet them at the hospital. Reaching out, she took Rachel's hand in hers, running her fingers over the knuckles soothingly.

"I know," was all she said and Rachel managed a half smile which didn't quite reach her eyes. "C'mon then," she coaxed, "Let's let her get some sleep, yeah? It was a long day for all of us."

Rachel allowed her to guide her down the hall into the bedroom (their bedroom, Sarah supposed) but stood short of getting in bed. Instead she went to the window, drawing her robe closer to her body.

It wasn't often that she withdrew anymore and Sarah bit down hard on her lower lip, because when she did, it was hard to reach her, hard to push past all the ghosts in the other woman's head and bring her back to reality. 

She would damn well die trying. "Rachel," Sarah's wrapped her arms around her slim waist, her lips ghosting the shell of Rachel's ear, "It was an accident. Kids, they fall on the playground. It happens all the time--"

"They should have been watching her, Sarah. There is absolutely no excuse for negligent behavior. I have half a mind to place a call---"

Even angry, her voice was clipped and steady and Sarah shook her head. It was still so hard for her to show emotion, to allow herself to feel anything other than indifference. She supposed it was because the times Rachel did lose control, it had been met with dire consequences.

Rachel stopped speaking and looked at her, her eyes reflecting something Sarah couldn't read. "Of course, I'm not going to call the school. She isn't mine, is she? It isn't my decision to make."

That is what this is about. Bloody Rachel. Bloody stupid girl. Sarah's knees buckled in relief. This she could wrap her head around. This she could fix.

"Kira loves you, Rachel. You know that and--"

"I'm not her mother, Sarah. And as much as she calls me Mum and as much as she adores me and I her, that is the truth of the matter. I'll never be anyone's mother, not really. Aldous made sure I knew so."

Her eyes were wet and on instinct, Sarah reached up to thumb away the moisture that had formed. To her surprise, Rachel pulled her in, sinking into the other woman's body, her hands tangling up in Sarah's hair, her face buried in her neck.

They stayed like that for awhile, Rachel crying silently into the fabric of her t-shirt, Sarah holding her up, hands pressed into the small of her back, unmoving and unwavering. 

"C'mere," Sarah led them to the bed where they sank into the softness of the mattress. "It's OK, Rachel. It's OK, yeah?" 

She comforted her as she comforted Kira in the hospital, her hands rubbing patterns up and down her shoulders and upper back, shushing into her ear soothingly. 

Rachel had stilled in her arms and she peered over thinking the blond had fallen asleep. She pressed a kiss to the top of her shoulder. 

It was a strange beast, the fact she was comforting someone who she had thought to be soulless. But Rachel could be any of them and any of them could be Rachel. Susan Duncan had been cold at best and a monster at worst and if Sarah could forgive herself for the animal she'd been and what she had done, she figured Rachel deserved a chance too...deserved love. Same as the rest of them. She just fought it harder.

"I want to keep her safe," The plea was quietly urgent and Sarah startled at the sudden intrusion. "But I can't really, can I? I can't keep either of you safe."

"Well, that's part of bein' a Mum," Sarah smiled, her hand coming to rest on Rachel's hip. "You can't protect your kid from everythin'. You try like hell to...but it's not possible. And she's also gonna hate you sometimes, just so you know. That's part of it too."

Rachel turned in her arms to face her. "I can assure you, Sarah, that will not bother me in the slightest. I'm quite used to being disliked, as you can imagine."

Sarah snorted. "Well, better you than me, yeah? Maybe it'll take a bit of the heat off me now that you're around." She kissed her cheek.

"Must you joke all the time?" The was no malice in her tone and she pressed her forehead to the other woman's fleetingly, closing her eyes. "It's your most asinine quality," she added despairingly.

"Uh huh. Why do you love me so much then?"

Her eyelashes fluttered. " Mmmm, an error in judgement, I suppose."

With that, Sarah kissed her softly, unhurried, their lips not coming to crash into each other as they had so violently in the past but connected, exploring, sweet, (a word Sarah wouldn't have associated with Rachel Duncan ever) and within the kiss, the words Sarah couldn't quite find to make her believe that they were her family now, she and Kira. That she didn't have to keep fighting so damn hard for it.

Rachel's finger tips skimmed along her ribs underneath her t-shirt, the nails leaving barely there marks in their wake (Some things never change, she thought wryly). When they reached her hipbone, Sarah placed her hand atop hers.

"Hey," There was that unreadable look in her eyes again but this time Sarah could see something in their depths. Fear. Uncertainty. Things she'd seen in a mirror, staring back at her more than once in her lifetime. "Hey," She said again, quiet, stroking the contours of the face that was her own. "Listen to me, yeah? Cuz' I'm only goin' to say this once. You're every bit Kira's mum as I am. Biology has shite to do with it. And we'll never be truly safe, Rachel. You know that as well as I do."

"When I saw her in that hospital, Sarah...she looked so terribly small and frightened. She looked like I did when I was a little girl and I had no one to watch out for me. No one who was invested in protecting me. Kira--"

"Has plenty of people protectin' her," Sarah supplied. "She's got you and me and S and Fee and all of us. D'ya think Helena would let anyone touch one hair on that head?"

"It took quite some time to convince Helena I wasn't going to be the one to do it," She reminded her with a deep sigh. "You need to understand, Sarah, it isn't as simple as all that. I can't promise--you know how I feel...about you, about Kira...but it's so much more complicated than you could ever imagine."

Sarah put a finger over Rachel's lips. "You silly tit...you bloody idiot." She admonished the blond tenderly, stroking her hair. "How can someone with such a brain for business be so completely--"

"If you're trying to be charming, your execution needs work," Rachel informed her, arching an amused eyebrow.

"Why can't you accept that we love you, huh? That we're your family. Me and Kira and the rest of us...Cos and Alison and Helena? Why is it so bloody hard for you to let us in?"

For a minute, Rachel didn't answer and Sarah was about to drop it entirely, to turn the lights off and turn away from her. 

"Because I didn't know what love was, Sarah." Her voice wavered. "I never had any use for it."

"I know. Neither did I."

"I have you both now and if anything should come along to threaten that..."

"We'll deal with it, alright? Together. Now shut your bloody mouth and kiss me."

And for once, Rachel Duncan did as she was told.


End file.
